Mr. Right or Mr. White – how “culturally diverse” is the new mixed race All little girl’s dream of their wedding day! By the time we’re 16, we’ve got the colours, bridesmaids and the “The Dress” sorted. The only thing missing is the groom! Will he be tall, dark and handsome, lean or muscular and the list goes on and on and on. At the time we “little girls” are living in an easy world of categories and boundaries set by our parents and reinforced by the micro society we live in. But what happens when the girl becomes a woman, enters the real world and mum and dad don’t call the shots any-more? Some of us unconsciously (or maybe even consciously) begin the search for “Mr Right”. Whether your “eyes meet across a crowded room” or you find love on-line as many modern couples do, is race a factor? What do you do if Mr Right is a cultural surprise? He ticks all the boxes, well the important ones anyway like kind, loving, respectful... you know the ones I mean. For many culturally diverse couples (and I use culturally diverse because you can be of the same race but different cultures e.g. Black Caribbean and Black African cultures are different as are White British and White European cultures) crossing the line as it were, is more of an issue for their families and friends than it is for them. It’s the second glances in the street, the confusion on people’s faces when you introduce your partner and in extreme cases verbal abuse. If, however, you can get through all of that and still believe in your relationship then I say that can only be a good thing! Luckily, my own experience is a good one, (I’m black Trinidadian and my husband is white from Northern Ireland, he loves it when my mum is visiting, (she’s a better cook than I am) and I FINALLY  appreciate the differences in potatoes! Both families were fully supportive and race was a complete non issue. That didn’t make planning the wedding any easier. To keep costs down our main wedding was in Trinidad, the bride wore white, the bridesmaids wore orange and the groom was dashing! To incorporate my husband’s Irish culture, our wedding favours were Trinidadian sweets in a gift bag with an Irish saying printed on it and the table centre pieces were little cards with the history of a place in Northern Ireland, so our guests could learn a little about where he was from. They were great conversation starters! A few months later we had a reception in Northern Ireland and guess what no orange allowed!!!! Northern Ireland historically assigns certain colours to certain sects so orange was a no-no. We used purple instead, food was a light buffet and the best part was I got to wear my dress again! Incorporating both cultures doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. It’s just a case of figuring out what means the most to both of you. London is such a melting pot of cultures that culturally diverse couples are becoming more common place and not a minute too soon. Pure and simple; loving, committed relationships should be celebrated and encouraged. Meeting someone to love and be loved by is complicated enough without adding anything else to the mix. Julia Thompson- Fusion Weddings www.fusionweddings.eu 07947 883 384